im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You dont lie about slip and slides
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
