Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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