I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I would ride that face into the sunset
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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