you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
