oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize