Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
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