Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
