foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Randomize
