after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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