They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
