I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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