I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
i drank out of a bidet.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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