You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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