One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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