I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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