A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
