When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
you didnt know i had herpes?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
