Nicole vs. Life
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
