ADVERTISEMENT

• (818): View more from California

  why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out

  Fav 2 1412 855

  share tweet
  

• (518): View more from New York

  haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting

  Fav 20 2533 966

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (740): View more from Ohio

  I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?

  Fav 73 1587 14887

  share tweet
  

• (513): View more from Ohio

  you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp

  Fav 23 5033 1032

  share tweet
  

• (708): View more from Illinois

  I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.

  Fav 34 5545 1411

  share tweet
  

• (703): View more from Virginia

  I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  how else could I explain the last few years

  Fav 7 4323 1376

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (843): View more from South Carolina

  Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold

  Fav 2 805 1790

  share tweet
  

• (513): View more from Ohio

  All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing

  Fav 1 808 1363

  share tweet
  

• (609): View more from New Jersey

  I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch

  Fav 7 2795 1003

  share tweet
  

• (607): View more from New York

  I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.

  Fav 9 678 1715

  share tweet
  

• (760): View more from California

  He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.

  (619): View more from California

  he what???

  (760): View more from California

  Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.

  Fav 6 2341 727

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight

  Fav 2 900 460

  share tweet
  

• (828): View more from North Carolina

  Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.

  Fav 3 176 71

  share tweet
  

• (352): View more from Florida

  You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.

  Fav 1 75 17

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (323): View more from California

  Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.

  Fav 0 10 19

  share tweet
  

Randomize