At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
