Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
ugly people sure do ruin things
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
