i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
