there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
