One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
