how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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