Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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