the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize