Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
