Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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