im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Shame is for Republicans.
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