So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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