he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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