if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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