I hope mine doesn't look like that
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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