i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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