Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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