Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
