tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
