are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
