I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Randomize
