We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
