That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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