guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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