I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
