if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
