Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
