I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
only you would photoshop your dick
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
