please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
