she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i permit you to call me
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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