i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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