This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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