i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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