if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
