he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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