Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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