I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
