Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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