Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
