I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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