Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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