I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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