i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
